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The month has flown by in a blur. Today marks the 7th month anniversary of my engagement read about that here.

We are in an uncertain time. Things are out of order. No one knows what’s around the corner. It’s impossible to predict, so we wait. Our world was thrown into a spiral of unforeseeable events months ago. Everyone began pointing fingers in all directions. The news makes our heads spin.  

Coronavirus restrictions have relaxed a bit in Missouri. Things are starting to reopen slowly, cautiously. Still everything feels different and strange. Everyone is wondering when things will be normal again, but this may be our new normal for a while. Haiti’s opening date is still in the shadows of conflicting rumors. No one actually knows. People are blocked in and people are blocked out. If only we could change places. 


I’ve felt restless, but I feel the Lord’s presence closely. The time feels urgent, yet He is teaching me to wait. 

Patience is one of my greatest struggles. Ever since I was little it has been let’s go, let’s go, let’s go. No time to waste. There are words to be spoken, people to help, darkness to be expelled. Haiti has relaxed my pace so much, yet even sitting still my mind will race, planning for what’s next. Until now. Even tomorrow is so unknown. I don’t know when I will get back to Haiti. I don’t know the differences I’ll find after so long away. I don’t know how God will use me specifically in the coming seasons. I don’t know if health problems will flare up again. I don’t know how I will make it financially. I don’t know if a visa is possible or residency. I don’t know when I will get married. I just don’t know. I can’t see the future. We can’t see tomorrow. 

I’ve been thinking about patience throughout this week. Nelson and I have been discussing it. He says “If we (specifically me… he is a great deal more patient) don’t learn patience to wait then there will be many problems for us because all of life is one wait after the other.” There is more truth in that statement than I wanted to admit at the time.

Over and over there are seasons of waiting. Waiting to grow up, waiting for direction, waiting for that trip, waiting for summer, waiting for a spouse, waiting for children, waiting for airports to open, waiting for a solution to a problem. We don’t choose to wait, but we do choose how we wait. I want to wait well. 


Psalm 62:5-8 says,

My soul WAIT silently for God alone, my every expectation is from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my defense; I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory; The rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God. Trust in Him AT ALL TIMES, you people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us.

Trusting Him, at all times. Prepared for whatever lies ahead and patient in the now.

We eagerly wait for what we don’t yet see with PATIENCE”.. because “We know that ALL things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

Romans 8:25, 28

It is a promise that everything we are anxious about will work out, in the end, for our good. All things.

Patience is loving God through a contented heart. It is the composure that helps us pause long enough to ask ourselves, what is it about God that I don’t understand in this situation? Why am I so restless? Why isn’t God enough for me here? Patience takes us deeper into the heart of God. It creates a sense of expectancy for tomorrow because of God’s goodness, which he has stored up for those who fear Him.

Jani Ortlund (source)

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Hi! I’m Rachel. Through a series of God orchestrated events I ended up in Haiti, in 2017.  Through years of serving with a ministry there I came to love the country and its people. I met Nelson and we got married in 2020. It was the best decision of my life! 


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